I Am Denouncing Success

There is this relentless need to quantify success. It is so deeply ingrained in our culture that we are blind to its obviously blatant reach. If you just graduated from an Ivy League university, obviously, and have not backpacked across an obscure third world country, fixing the lives of the lesser, in order to prep for that post grad education, then you are unsuccessful. If you are over the age of 25 and are not settled into a career, engaged to someone of the opposite sex and have just finished putting on that last coat of white paint on your picket fence out front, then boy are you doing something wrong. If you are turning thirty and don’t have that huge, expensive, could have bought you a car rock on your left ring finger as you blowout those 30 sparkling reminders of your failure, then the world casts a harsh judgmental shadow on you. You are singled out, ostracized and pitied. And all for what?


A false notion that holds about as much water as my mother’s stainless steel colander.


This definition of success, housed by us in our collective psyches, needs to be abolished. We talk about this ever present glass ceiling, but in my opinion, it's time that we start discussing the brick wall. This big, ugly, overshadowing, brick wall that separates those who, in the eyes of society, have succeeded, and those who have failed to meet a systematically constructed idea of success. This pressure to reach that mountain peak so that you can plant your flag alongside all the successful, pat on the back, greats, needs to be eased, ebbed, and erased before it pulls us, as a society, into a void that we cannot escape. 


When I see my peers, who are some of the most brilliant, ambitious, headstrong people I have the ultimate pleasure of knowing, get trampled by the overbearing foot of success, my heart shatters for them. It is in that moment that I believe we have failed as a society. I know firsthand what that unhealthy level of pressure to be successful can do to even the strongest of people. I have felt the unnerving feeling of the world slip away from underneath you as you stand in a circle of your peers, who have been granted front row seats to watch you fall to your untimely demise. I have felt that hard blow to the ego that comes about when you are completely blindsided by life and success rears its ugly head, grinning ear to ear, as you kiss goodbye a future you thought was so certain. I have walked calmly out of a room, smile plastered on my face, fighting against it all, until I am standing alone in a parking lot, holding onto my car for dear life, just so I can cry straight for an hour after failing at something success promised I could win.


Where, before, you felt invincible with the world in front of you, after, you feel disheveled, unsure of yourself and lost. Afraid that you simply will not be able to reach and attain that Holy Grail we all call success.


Enough is enough.


I am denouncing success.


My ideologically constructed sense of success no longer relies on what you, you or you think success should be. My frame of thought no longer holds that perfect picture of success, captured through a lens I no longer feel the need to see through. My success is predicated on one very simple premise – if I can look at myself in the mirror and love what I see, then I’m successful.


Point, blank, period.


Full stop.


That’s all folks. 


If I am happy with me and am at peace with myself, I will exude success. It doesn't matter where this mirror is located, if it’s dripping in 24 karat gold or hanging off its last tired hinge, I will always continue to see myself as successful. Because to me, if I can look myself in the eye and still be able to appreciate myself in my unadulterated, most raw form, and still see the essence of me shine through, I've won. Won what? I don’t think any of us really know, but it’s the feeling of being able to walk through life, chin to the sky that is the ultimate trophy.


Now this is not a call for everyone to see success this way; on the contrary, this view of success should be mine, and mine alone. Because it comes from a place deep within myself, it can, and should, really only penetrate that humiliating darkness within me. 

Success should differ in us all because where we are coming from is so uniquely beautiful, our past stories a mosaic of hurt, loss, and love, that one universal definition for an end goal is nonsensical. Go forth and find your success, wherever it may be. Embrace your success in whatever form it comes in, even if your success is that white picket fence drying in the cherry blossom wind.

But always remember, the definition of success comes from within you and no external force should ever be able to unhinge that.


No one should tell you that you are unsuccessful because they have not trudged through the ever winding road you have in order to get to the person you are today. There is only one you and therefore there is only one unique definition of success for you to live by.

Love & Light  - Inemesit Etokudo

Modern Living Room

The family home is one of the most important things in anybody’s life. The living room forms the epicentre of a happy home environment, and is one of the areas where every homeowner must place a great deal of priority.

Transforming your living room space can feel like a daunting task, but it doesn’t have to be. In many cases, small changes bring the most noticeable change. By following these tips below, you can bring your lounge into the 21st century while making it the perfect place for the entire family to relax.

There’s no time like the present, start the upgrade now and you’ll soon have a living room to be proud of.

Create A Larger Space

When it comes to the living room space, bigger is most certainly better. There’s nothing worse than feeling trapped in your own property. Creating a spacious atmosphere is a key part of gaining the contemporary aesthetic.

One of the best ways to achieve this is encouraging more light. Troy Lighting fittings are the perfect way to set the tone of a room. Meanwhile, the added brightness will give the area a bigger appearance too.

Declutter the room by getting rid of unnecessary items too, and you’ll be surprised at how much larger the area feels.

Paint The Walls

For most people, redecorating the living room means that they want a change of scenery. While increasing the appearance of size is a great foundation, the best way to achieve a new look is by painting the walls.

Colour plays a vital role in our interactions with a room. By using the new colour and lighting facilities together, you can create the perfect atmosphere for your family to relax.

However, you must be sure to prep the walls first. Failure to do so could cause huge ramifications. Do not let this become an issue.

Add Personality

While a stylish property gives you the foundation for a fantastic home life, it’s people that make a house a home. Whatever you do, it’s imperative that you embrace the character of your household to create the perfect living room space.

Creating features throughout the room is a great way to make the place feel more inviting. These standout aspects work as a fantastic contrast to the fresh ideas that are incorporated in the overall feel of a contemporary home.

This is your living room. Make it feel that way, and you won’t stop smiling.

Crank Up The Comfort

While appearances do play a vital role in the DNA of your living room space, it’s important to recognize the space is for living.

One of the key features that your living room should boast is comfort. Investing in quality furniture is a must. Meanwhile, you should be keen to encourage better insulation so that the room remains at a pleasant temperature. After all, there’s no point in making the other upgrades if you don’t feel happy in the new room.

Adding big TVs and cool gadgets can increase the enjoyment. First and foremost, though, it needs to be comfortable. Get these aspects right, and the rest can follow at a later date.