By Edwin Garrett
This Furlough got us Slinging!! The recent government shutdown has a lot of folks making changes in their finances. Recently my wife and I became Slingers!! That’s right we switched from Comcast to Sling TV. At first I was a little reluctant! We’ve been in this relationship with Comcast for over ten years but like any good relationship you have to step back, take a deep breath, reflect and decide if its worth it any more. Are you giving more than your getting back? Why have I been in this relationship so long? Do I still have love for this person? Cable and marriage have many parallels! Cable is your entertainment, your friend you lean on it when you had a bad day, it brings you news, if it’s a ride or die is with you through the storm, cable provides you with premium services if you pay for it and they are your only provider.
Comcast offered us a Threesome! Okay I’m with that!! But lets look at this threesome. With Comcast you get one premium service included and bunch of service you don’t want. You ever ask you spouse to go down to the border and give a speech and he/she starts using sign language? Yeah…I ain’t want that! One part of the Threesome you don’t need is the phone! Makes me think of the lyrics of the late great Notorious, “Its like two dicks and no chick!”! Its like building an outhouse next to a mansion! The internet is slow, has shakey signal, over hyped…. they got to sell you on something!! Like when your spouse tells you all day, “when you get home I’m going to tear it up” or “I need you to tear up”!!! When you get home they sleep, snoring and drooling. Totally unappealing and disappointing! Comcast is like you just signed up for Morgan Freeman every night!! The same character in every movie! No versatility no excitement! Turn your back he done married one of your kids and got them signed up for 2 years. Slinging is Ala Carte Freaky you get to choose when and what you want. So some nights I am James St. Patrick from Power! Slide on a turtle neck and blazer and command my respect. That brother bringing the turtle neck back!! Season End I might drop Starz and get Epix! Get little sci-fi/action freakin’, “Captain Dirk paging Lieutenant loose booty”.
Now Showtime is a little dangerous cause they’ll have your wife in a bunny suit and you dressing like an Egyptian Pharaoh for no reason at all!! Stay away from the Showtime After Dark a little weird sometimes!! Clearly being able to say to your wife “we slinging tonight baby” or we Slingers BIH” is a priceless added bonus!! Now this is not me endorsing Sling TV! I don’t get a check from Sling , this is real life! Now if Sling reads this and wants a brother to do a promo or something I ain’t turning down nothing but my collar!! After all my wife is furloughed!