It’s that time of the year again, Anti Poodie-Do and Weenie-Do Season...You know a Weenie-Do is when your belly sticks out further than your Weenie. Or ladies, it’s when your belly sticks out further than your Poodie do!! Yawl call it “dieting”!!
You got your cabbage soup diet, the green tea and soup broth diet, tea/air and half a cracker diet, Keto diet, Atkins aka “I’m Angry With Bad Breath Diet” or the “I Might Bite Your Head Off or Kick Your A$$ If You Don’t Get Out My Face With That Bread And Fries Diet”!
Fellas we usually lose around this time of year...our minds and our patience!! Wives start “suggesting” what you should eat, texting you articles and then here it comes…You ready to start this diet with me? You want to say, “HELL NO!” but hold your horses champ!! This is a win win for us!! Okay besides losing your Weenie Do, there are many benefits to dieting with your wife! Here are a few….
You get special meals that she has never cooked like “Indian Tikka Masala”! Most of these diets allow a lot of proteins so chicken and steak are on the menu. Lunch is served, find your lunch bag cause she is filling it up! Exercise increases vitality, stamina, and energy which will lead to some serious freakin’!! Fellas we can say things that might get us the side eye like:
A. “I’m a need a lot of sex if I’m doing this diet” gotta’ balance out to lose those carbs! You don’t want me to get angry and hurt one of these boys?!
B. Baby, we went over our points today we need a sneaky-freak then a slide-and-glide to burn them points.
C. You need to stretch, put your legs behind your head and I’m going to stretch you out…
D. My favorite is when you turn them articles on them, “Baby I read this article that said if you have sex before you go to bed and right when you wake up, you could lose 8 pounds a month...I’m just saying!”
A&B have been researched and proven to work! C&D will get you swung on and/or punched in the throat, especially in the first seven days of diet and exercise.
All jokes aside every wife wants a partner in her spouse; someone who will help her with all aspects of her life! What better way to show your wife that you love her, that you are there for her and committed to being in her life until death do you part? Love you Baby!
By Edwin Garrett